你的爱意对方感受不到？先学会TA的“语言”

2022.09.02
覃晔
难度：CSE7
课程导读

爱意应该如何去表达？全球畅销书作家Gary Chapman曾提出“爱的五种语言”这一概念。他认为，每个人都有自己表达和接受爱意的方式，只有用对方的“语言”去传递爱意，TA才能真正感受的到。“爱的语言”具体有哪些？掌握这门“语言”，我们在亲密关系中就能拥有更多的幸福感吗？一起来听今天的讲解。

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本篇课程首发于2022年9月2日

英文原文

The 5 Love Languages at 30

By Melissa Kirsch

Gary Chapman created the concept of “love languages” 30 years ago. He proposed that the ways people prefer to have love communicated to them fall into five categories, or “languages”: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts and physical touch.

If my love language is “words of affirmation” and yours is “receiving gifts,” you may assume that giving me a thoughtful present will demonstrate how much you care, while in reality, I’d prefer that you write me a letter telling me as much. If we learn one another’s love languages we will theoretically be able to more effectively communicate with our partners (or children or bosses or friends).

Why do the love languages continue to appeal even to people who might otherwise look askance at a personality quiz? I think the language of the love languages themselves has a lot to do with it.

Chapman articulated five discrete methods of giving and receiving love, a simple organizing framework for needs and desires that often feel irretrievably complicated. The love languages get at a fundamental premise of self-help teachings — that we all want to be loved, to feel connection to one another.

生词好句

1.communicate something to somebody

把某事传达、传递给某人

2.fall into category

归类，归结为几类
拓展:
If you think about it, the tasks on which you tend to procrastinate will generally fall into two categories.
如果仔细思考一下，就能把你拖延的任务分成两类。

3.affirmation

英 [ˌæfəˈmeɪʃn] 美 [ˌæfərˈmeɪʃn]
n. （情感上的）支持，鼓励
拓展:
Affirmation, encouragement, and respect are the building blocks to self-confidence.
肯定、鼓励和尊重是建立自信的基石。

4.theoretically

英 [θɪəˈretɪkli] 美 [ˌθiːəˈretkli]
adv. 理论上

5.appeal to somebody

对某人有吸引力
拓展:
attract somebody vs. appeal to somebody
attract somebody 单纯地吸引了某人的注意力，让某人靠近；appeal to somebody 则指有感染力，让人感兴趣，而被吸引过去。
It’s a movie that will appeal to the young.
这部电影年轻人会感兴趣。
The film-makers relied on appealing to the audience’s finer feelings.
出品方寄望能打动年轻观众们的爱心。

6.otherwise

英 [ˈʌðəwaɪz] 美 [ˈʌðərwaɪz]
adv. 除此以外，在其他方面

7.look askance (at somebody/something) / look (at somebody/something) askance

（怀疑或不满地）斜眼看，瞟某人某物（if you look askance at someone or something, you have a doubtful or suspicious attitude toward them.）
拓展:
They have always looked askance at my cooking.
他们历来都鄙视怀疑我的厨艺。

8.have something to do with

跟……有关
拓展:
Her success must have something to do with her diligence.
她的成功和她的勤勉一定有某些关系。

9.articulate

英 [ɑːˈtɪkjələt] 美 [ɑːrˈtɪkjələt]
v. 明确的表达（to express or explain your thoughts or feelings clearly in words）
拓展:
I struggled to articulate my thoughts.
我竭力表明我的想法。